Charlie in this thing is like if some horny fanfiction writer got drunk and rewrote Star Wars from memory, but only remembered the boob parts. She shows up in that half-assed space outfit that looks like it failed a cosplay contest, and somehow her tits are both the main plot and the side quest. Blonde, big, bouncing every time she pretends to do “space combat”. Feels less like a Jedi and more like a walking pair of soft hitboxes. And it kind of works, in a stupid, dirty way. The humor is pure 2009 internet energy: stupid puns on character names, sex jokes that don’t even try to be smart, and then suddenly a threesome scene that hits way harder than the build-up deserves. I was laughing at the dumb “force-skin” jokes and still clicking like a degenerate, which is a strange combination. Sometimes you want high art. This is not that. This is like porn Mad Libs written during a late-night shitpost session. And yet I kept going.

The “choices” are that funny kind of fake freedom where you know the dev is just teasing you, but you still pause a second like, ok, do I send Charlie to flirt with the old creep space master, or do I push her right into the princess’ lap first. One click and boom, she’s on her knees testing the “dark side”, like yeah, we all saw that coming, but it still hits nice when the camera gets a bit too interested in her mouth and the strings of spit. The threesome stuff starts chaotic in a good way, like the scene doesn’t know if it wants to be a joke or a straight-up fuckfest, and the result is Charlie stuck in the middle, tits squeezed together, someone behind her, someone in front, and all the dialogue is horny parody that absolutely overstays its welcome. I liked that everyone talks too much, then I got tired of it, then one stupid gag about the “shaft” made me snort again. The princess is written like that one smug girl from your porn search history who pretends she’s above it, then five minutes later she’s riding like she invented it, moaning something about “galactic peace” while getting absolutely railed. It’s crass, sometimes lazy, kind of embarrassing, pretty hot, and way too convinced its own dick jokes are clever. I’m not proud of how much I enjoyed watching Charlie “negotiate” with the pimp master using her throat, while some knockoff Jedi wisdom plays in the background like a bad YouTube parody. But I did. And if the idea of a horny blonde space bimbo juggling cocks and stupid puns in a galaxy that looks suspiciously like a Pornhub comment section makes you grin even a little, you already know where this is going.